A Child Giving Advice to His Mother: The Quiet Collapse Behind Tito’s Story

By Dr. Luchetu Likaka

Tito’s words, a son publicly advising his mother on how to live, should not be reduced to spectacle. They should unsettle us.

In that moment, something deeply foundational had already shifted. The natural order of guidance, where a parent shapes the direction of a child, was reversed. What we witnessed was not simply boldness or defiance; it was exposure. Exposure of a gap where authority, care, and structure should have firmly stood.

It is tempting to isolate Tito and judge him, either as a symbol of indiscipline or as a victim deserving sympathy. But that would be a shallow reading of a deeper crisis.

Tito is not the story; he is a signal. He reflects a growing reality in many Kenyan households where children are maturing under pressure rather than guidance.

His voice carries the weight of experiences that extend far beyond a single home.

At the core of this reality lies the persistent grip of poverty.

The impact of survival-focused parenting on children, particularly firstborns

In environments where survival dominates daily life, parenting is often reduced to its most basic function: keeping children alive. Emotional presence, mentorship, and consistent discipline become secondary, not out of disregard, but out of exhaustion and limitation.

A household stretched by economic strain cannot easily sustain the kind of stability that nurtures balanced growth. Children in such spaces do not simply grow; they adapt, often too quickly, to adult realities.

Layered onto this is the quiet erosion of parenting itself. This is not always a matter of absence in the physical sense, but a deeper absence of intentional guidance. Many parents are navigating their own unresolved struggles, repeating patterns they inherited, or simply lacking the tools to raise children in a structured and supportive way.

The result is a generation negotiating life without clear direction, where authority becomes inconsistent and discipline reactive. In such spaces, children do not just follow they begin to assume roles they are not prepared for.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the experience of firstborns. Tito’s voice echoes a familiar burden carried silently across many families. The firstborn often becomes the stabilizer, the one expected to step in where systems fail.

They are asked to be responsible beyond their years, to support siblings, to absorb family tensions, and sometimes to compensate for absent or struggling parents.

But responsibility imposed without adequate support does not cultivate resilience alone; it creates pressure. And pressure, when it accumulates without relief, eventually finds expression sometimes in ways that society misreads as disrespect or rebellion.

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Societal responsibility in addressing unprepared parenting and its impact on children

Unprepared or irresponsible parents bring children into circumstances that lack the necessary financial, emotional, and social readiness for their well-being.

The weight of unfulfilled parenthood descends upon children, as they shoulder the responsibilities meant for their parents.

What makes Tito’s situation stand out is not its uniqueness, but its visibility. There are countless others navigating similar realities quietly, without cameras or public attention.

Young people who are growing up too fast, carrying too much, and finding their voice in environments that have not equipped them to use it constructively.

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When they finally speak, it unsettles us not because it is rare, but because it reveals what we often choose to ignore.

If there is any value in this moment, it lies in what it demands of us.

This calls for a rethinking of parenting, not as an automatic role, but as a responsibility that requires preparation, support, and accountability, and for stronger economic foundations for families, because financial strain and emotional absence are deeply connected.

It calls for a deliberate effort to protect children, especially firstborns, from becoming substitutes for systems that have failed. And it calls for a revival of community, where raising a child is not an isolated task, but a shared responsibility grounded in guidance and care.

In the end, Tito is not just a boy who spoke out of turn. He is a mirror reflecting a society under strain, families stretched, parents overwhelmed, and children overburdened.

If we focus only on his words, we will miss the warning they carry. But if we listen carefully, we may begin to confront the deeper realities shaping not just Tito, but an entire generation growing up in similar shadows.

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Dr. Luchetu Likaka. PHOTO/ Courtesy.