Ever Had a One-Night Stand or Planning One? Here’s What Experts Say

Can a one-night stand remain just that one night without changing what happens afterwards?

For some people, casual sex offers an opportunity to explore attraction or enjoy companionship without committing to a relationship.

However, experts say the experience can affect people differently depending on their expectations, motivations and circumstances.

Speaking to Hivileo, Shamiri Fellow Hilda Atieno Wangore and Psychologist Jeff Wekesa shared their perspectives on why some people choose a one-night stand, the possible emotional effects, and what individuals should consider before engaging in casual sex.

According to Wangore, people choose one-night stands for different reasons, including sexual attraction, curiosity, companionship, or the desire to experience something new without committing to a relationship.

“People have different reasons for choosing to have a one-night stand. For some, it may simply be about sexual attraction and wanting to explore that attraction without committing to a relationship. Others may be curious, looking for companionship in the moment, or just wanting to have a new experience,” she said.

Meanwhile, Wekesa said some people may prefer casual encounters because they do not expect an attachment afterwards, while others may want to explore something new.

“Main reason is that it has no attachments afterwards, each person can go their way after sex and it gives room for exploration for some people to try out something new,” he said.

One-Night Stand Can Affect Emotional Wellbeing

Although some people may view a one-night stand as purely physical, Wangore said the experience can affect emotional wellbeing in different ways.

“If both people are comfortable with what happened, communicated clearly and had realistic expectations, someone may simply walk away feeling satisfied and without emotional complications,” she said.

However, she noted that people can experience regret, guilt, disappointment or emotional attachment when they enter the encounter with different expectations.

One person may consider the experience purely physical, while the other may develop feelings or hope for a relationship.

Similarly, Wekesa said a one-night stand can produce both positive and negative emotional outcomes, depending on individual motivations, expectations and gender.

“A one-night stand can have both positive and negative effects on a person’s emotional and psychological well-being, depending heavily on individual motivations, expectations, and gender,” Wekesa said.

A photo of a woman stressed, sitted at the edge of the bed with a man in the background staring at her. PHOTO/ Getty Images

In particular, Wekesa said short-term sexual encounters can trigger anxiety, sadness and feelings of low self-worth, especially when someone uses sex to cope with a breakup or loneliness.

At the same time, he said some encounters can eventually develop into long-term relationships.

Also Read: Friends With Benefits: Is it a Good Idea?

What to Consider Before a One-Night Stand

Before making the decision, Wangore advised individuals to examine their reasons and determine whether they genuinely feel comfortable with the choice.

“The first thing is to be honest with yourself about why you want to do it and whether you are genuinely comfortable with the decision. Don’t do it simply because of pressure from friends, alcohol, loneliness or the fear of losing someone’s interest,” she said.

Additionally, she urged people to consider consent, personal boundaries, sexual health and safety before proceeding.

She also encouraged individuals to ask themselves whether they would still feel comfortable with the decision the following day.

For Wekesa, expectations and sexual health should also guide the decision.

He advised people to establish what they want from the experience, including whether they seek physical gratification or validation.

“Top of the list on this conversation is what a person would be looking for in such an experience, have a clearly defined expectation. For example, is it for physical gratification or validation? Second is STDs as it is very easy to contract diseases through sex, is the partner willing to take tests before sex?” he said.

A photo of a woman sitted, stressed with a man in the background. PHOTO/ Getty Images

     Clear Expectations Can Prevent Complications

Beyond understanding personal motivations, both experts emphasised the importance of communication before the encounter.

Wangore said people should discuss what the encounter means to them instead of assuming that sex automatically creates a relationship.

“Before anything happens, both people should have a clear understanding of what the encounter means to them. Nobody should assume that sex automatically means a relationship, but at the same time, nobody should be afraid to acknowledge if their feelings change afterwards,” she said.

Afterwards, she advised both people to respect each other’s boundaries and avoid sending mixed signals or making promises they do not intend to keep.

A photo of a woman stressed, sitted at the edge of the bed while a man in the background is sleeping. PHOTO/ Getty Images

Also Read: Office Romance: Can Workplace Dating Affect Job Performance?

Wekesa likewise stressed that individuals should define their expectations before having sex to reduce the possibility of misunderstandings.

“Clear definition of expectations before the sexual encounter to ensure that there are no mismatched expectations between the two partners, and as a personal responsibility, clearly defined it in your mind and speak out honesty on what you want from the encounter,” he said.

Consent and Sexual Health Remain Important

While expectations can shape the emotional outcome, Wangore said consent and personal boundaries should remain central throughout the encounter.

“Make sure the decision is genuinely yours. Consent should be clear, freely given and ongoing. If either person becomes uncomfortable or changes their mind, that decision should be respected immediately,” Wangore said.

Alongside consent, she urged people to communicate their boundaries, use protection and discuss STI status where appropriate.

She also reminded people that attraction should not make them ignore their safety.

When strangers become involved, Wekesa said people may face additional challenges because they might not know whether their intentions and expectations match.

“Sex is more than the act itself, there’s emotions involved always, a one night stand with a stranger unknown to you makes things much more complicated, it is not easy to determine if the person you intend to have that encounter with has the same goals as you that brings a big challenge,” he said.

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A photo of a lady pushing a way a man at a club. PHOTO/ Getty Images